Mythical Strategist Gifts

" - This might work, but management will never approve it . . ."

Trojan Horse Threat.

"Any questions?"

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

Trojan Hurdler.

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

Sisyphus visits Stowe

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

Sisyphus and coronavirus

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"The moon, the dinner, dancing. How could this night be more perfect?"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

Targets

'I've decided to make you someone else's problem.'