Heavenly Strategists Gifts

God giving simultaneous chess exhibition in Heaven

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

God's failing sales chart in evidence at meeting. God says 'Okay, any ideas?'

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"Of course he looks superior - he's the line manager!"

Possible Merger Talks

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"First, I storyboarded it."

"Who do you think you're dealing with, Smith? Does it say 'stupid' on my office door?"

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

'Folks, we're just not doing this right.'

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'

" - This might work, but management will never approve it . . ."

Trojan Horse Threat.

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.

Space force clocks.

"This is Stan, He's helping us look beneath the surface of reality to transcendent truths, in order to make a buck."

"I think you are meant to delegate"

Ad Meeting With God.

'Pig flu??!'

"With your rhetorical skills, young man, do you realize that you could become a mogul?"

"Your nightstand must be the most ambitious piece of furniture in the whole house."

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'