Heavenly Strategists Mugs

God giving simultaneous chess exhibition in Heaven

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"This connect the dots is taking FOREVER!"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

God's failing sales chart in evidence at meeting. God says 'Okay, any ideas?'

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

"Of course he looks superior - he's the line manager!"

Possible Merger Talks

"Who do you think you're dealing with, Smith? Does it say 'stupid' on my office door?"

"First, I storyboarded it."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

'Folks, we're just not doing this right.'

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.

Trojan Horse Threat.

" - This might work, but management will never approve it . . ."

Space force clocks.

"I think you are meant to delegate"

Ad Meeting With God.

"This is Stan, He's helping us look beneath the surface of reality to transcendent truths, in order to make a buck."

'Pig flu??!'

"With your rhetorical skills, young man, do you realize that you could become a mogul?"

"Your nightstand must be the most ambitious piece of furniture in the whole house."