Cosmic Thinker Gifts

Astrophysics made simple.

"It's not a multiverse. It's a copyright violation."

"You have the right to remain silent, you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And, whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

The Universe Before the Big Bang (Actual Size).

Almost Everything Bagel

How life on Earth really got its start.

God's map of the universe

'Well, that seemed to go well. Let's fire this thing up and see what it can do!'

'Let's have some fun -- let's make them responsible for their own actions.'

'Yes, the universe is certainly infinite.' 'No - it probably finite.'

"Use your White Privilege, Luke."

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

The Gods discussing humans as a product.

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'It may be just a dog turd too you - but to Professor Brian Cox and me it's a little piece of stardust.' (Based on the fact that Professor Cox is fond of stating that most of the atoms that make up living things was created inside stars)

'We think that ring around the planet Earth is made up of communication satellites.'

"O.K., you've created the universe. What's your exit strategy?"

'You're too skeptical. Think of all those heads out there - how CAN there be only life on ours?'

meditation

'Well, I say it is part of a grand design.'

'Yep, the world's round.'

BIG BANG COMIX

Black Hole Research Institute has no outbox.

Space force clocks.

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)

'Hey, don't look at me - I gave them FREE WILL.'

'ONe hundred million neutrinos are passing through our bodies every second, and we're worried about the price of coffee.'

'Why is it that if someone tells you there are one billion billion stars in our universe alone, you believe them, but if they tell you a door has wet paint, you touch it to make sure!'

'Well...let's just say that, on a very local level, you were right.'

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

'Well, You've sent them floods, earthquakes, famines, pestilence, plagues, wars, and hurricanes -- of course they're fatalistic!'

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

Director: US Space Research.

"I think it can be both intelligent and tasteful."