Cosmic Thinkers Gifts

"Don't make me come down there!"

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

Science And Religion

"Only an astronomer would describe a star that's 30 trillion miles away as 'right next door'."

So your career objective is to 'swallow the universe.' Why Buddhists don't get jobs.

"If nature abhors a vacuum, why is the universe so full of it?"

"How about bees as the dominant lifeform? They'd all pull together for the common good in the face of hardship and disease."

"And what about us?"

'So you created everything...including black holes...which will eventually swallow everything...including you.' 'I'm working on that.'

"Unless you plan on being an astronomer, I suggest more paying attention and less staring into space."

'Bravo Professor, you stumbled upon the one fact that makes sense of it all. Unfortunately humanity is not permitted to know that the Universe was designed by a committee of ducks.'

'Looking into the vastness of space makes me realize how insignificant you are.'

"If you're going to the shops I'll have a Mars bar, a Galaxy and a Milky way

Dogs are from Mars... cats are from Venus.

'Fine, I'll say it - the Hadron Collider was a bad idea! Are you happy now, Bob?'

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

Harnessing the black hole

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"Oh look, a shooting star. . ."

God's Writers Block

"It really makes you feel insignificant doesn't it."

"Remember that you are space dust, and to space dust you shall return."

"Damn straight we're the only forms of intelligent life in the universe!"

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Chiller Theatre

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Zenemies.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"