Cosmic Philosopher Gifts

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"I want each of you on the way home tonight to stop, look up, ponder the heavens, and consider how insignificant our second-quarter loss really is."

Even if you're presdient of a corporation, you're still just the president of a corporation.'

'I know I'm the center of the universe.'

'...And the precise value of the Hubble constant is critical to the question of whether out universe will continue to expand forever, or...'

'Looking into the vastness of space makes me realize how insignificant you are.'

"How dare they defy me by doing what I predestined them to do!?!"

'It's hard to believe that they started out with just SEVEN deadly sins.'

'The Universe isn't coming to an end, Schneebart -- you just left the lens cap on!'

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

"Shall we put it in play?"

Eviction Notice for Earth...

'The big bang theory of creation.'

You are here.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

'What would you order for last meal if a killer asteroid was headed for Earth?'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'I know just how you feel. Sometimes I think I'm living on the wrong planet too.'

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

"Life, yes - but as for intelligent life, I have my doubts."

'I wonder if there's life as we know it...fleas...on other dogs.'

Dove of Peace You Are Needed Here.

"It all started with a 'My religion is better than yours'."

"When I was younger I wished on stars. Now my hopes are pinned on satellites."

"OK then smartypants, if the universe is expanding, how come I still can't find a parking space?"

"Looking up at the stars like this makes me realize how small and insignificant you are."

"Indomitable spirit? Oh no, humans are nothing special in that regard. But you do rank number one in the galaxy for whining and self-delusion."

"Since I got out here, it seems my mind is like it's in a vacuum."

"Will all this light cause galactic warming?"

"Did ya have that feeling you were being watched?"

Coronavirus

Why is there life on me? The first wonder of the world.

"On my home planet, I was a deity."

Death to the Heliofanatics

Wormhole Aliens Killed Sandra Bland