Cosmos Thinker Gifts

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'So, what did you decide - Flat earth or 3-D?'

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Chiller Theatre

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Zenemies.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

A man looks up at the earth

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

How life on Earth really got its start.

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Couple stargazing: 'Now a word from our sponsor...'

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

"Uh-oh - climate change."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."