Cosmic Ponderer Gifts

'What do you think - Heredity or environment?

'I think that's always how it's been!'

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

"I hope his dark side is more interesting."

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

'So we're 52 light-years from home... and now you tell me that you think you left the stove on?!'

'Hey, it's your dollar, buddy, but maybe this ain's the best way to 'wherever the wind blows your path.''

"So how's that experiment doing where you gave higher consciousness to a bunch of self-absorbed, tribal-minded apes?"

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't cut corners to get it in under seven."

"Sure, we're all just tiny specks in a vast and uncaring universe. But some of us are bigger tiny specks than others."

'What was that big bang out here?'

'I should mention that since we last met John has achieved singularity.'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'Sir, a super massive black hole ate my homework.'

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

'It was a lot easier to keep an eye on things before the bang. Everything was all in one place then.'

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...

'I didn't even know they were THERE until they started nuclear testing.'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Anything new on that meteor?"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Atlas holding up the Earth.

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"