Planetary Ponderer Gifts

"Another Starbucks on Venus."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Bowling ball earth

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

Where Meteorites Come From. Ahh-choo!

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

World traveler ants.

'He's so creative.'

"Your moon is squaring Saturn, so I can tell you're shy and withdrawn."

"How do I get off this Merry Go Round?"

"Be honest. Do these rings make me look fat?"

"We should have done this a loooong time ago."

"The trouble with you, sunshine, you think everything revolves around you!"

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Schrodinger's Black Box

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

The Origins of Everything

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

The New Normal

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Shall we put it in play?"