Cosmetic Industry Worker Gifts

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

No outside food in the theater sir.

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."

"This time lick my entire body."

Theater Usher Moms.

"I've got a new job, mom! I'm in show business!"

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Magazines.

Anita Roddick

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

Nail Gun Manicure

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

A cleaner in a cinema

'It's hunting season again. Got anything that smells like fresh venison?'

'DO YOU HAVE A SIZE BETWEEN SMALL AND JUMBO?'

"Come back after you've gained a few pounds."

"Shall I give your eyebrows a little touch up, Miss?"

House of Java.net Cybercafe. Open mike night starring Rudy Park. Much to fear, these troubled days. Covid, economy in a stew … I've compounded things a ways with my enemy anew. Oh foolishness and great folly there're no ifs, ands, or buts. We failed to tip sufficiently … when last at Supercuts. Never dis the barber!

There will now be an interval while the film comes back on.

'The movie started 40 minutes ago.'

People Who Talk To Elvis...

Anteater goes on the rampage in cinema,

'I've been making popcorn for 63 years and I've never once gotten sick of the taste of it... no wait, I just did.'

'My sneakers are made in Malaysia...my cap is made in China...my rucksack is made in Thailand...my pants are made in Indonesia - I just love geography!'

Last season's mobile phones - recycling.