Cosmetic Store Employee Gifts

"The base is lava, from a volcano."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

Children line up to talk to Santa

'This must be the work clothes section.'

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

"Just groceries? Oh I see..."

Nail Gun Manicure

People Who Talk To Elvis...

'It's hunting season again. Got anything that smells like fresh venison?'

'Do you have any of the perfume that makes me look like Angelina Jolie?'

'I need a new scent.'

"...And it has a pheromone which will make him submissive to you."

"It's the best darn Santa we've had in years!"

Glop With Packaging

Mannequin's Rights.

'What I want is a 50 cent an hour raise, a longer lunch break, weekends off...'

'This anti-ageing cream is well past it's sell-by date!'

'Our product testers aren't meant to be used that way, Sir.'

'Have you got one that will hold a pizza?'

In a trade reminiscent of Johnny Damon to the Yankees, Santa Claus signs with Gimbel's for big bucks and shaves his face.

"But how do I look for the age I've told everybody I am?"

Indian brave buys warpaint from Avon lady.

On Their Way

"There's very little an individual store can do about rising food prices, Mom!"

How to make girls feel uglier so they buy more beauty products.

Witch in beauty salon chooses hairstyle for her wart.

Week three, things started to get ugly.

"What do you mean they screwed up at the hair removal salon, Rapunzel?"

'Do you have 'Allure'?'