Beauty Industry Worker Gifts

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I'm thinkin' blond."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Anita Roddick

Magazines.

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

Dying your hair red at home

Nail Gun Manicure

'Do you have any of the perfume that makes me look like Angelina Jolie?'

"Shall I give your eyebrows a little touch up, Miss?"

People Who Talk To Elvis...

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."

"Dude, I didn't spend 2 years in hairstyling school just to shave your head!"

Gentlemen, don't think of this as a corporate takeover, it's a corporate makeover.

"People here seem to appreciate the before and after photos much more than my previous job."

Hair stylist images his work as butterfly, customer sees caterpillar.

'No, we don't do any animal testing, but don't rule out a pop quiz once in a while.'

Alien Computers.

Shampoo School. Lather and rinse. Excuse me, could you repeat that?

"Do you ever regret having breast implants when you were younger?"

"Done." "But you only cut one hair!" "Well, if you wanted more done you should've gone across the street to Hairs-R-Us."