Beauty Professional Gifts

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

'I have an opening next month, may I pencil you in?'

Hair stylist images his work as butterfly, customer sees caterpillar.

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

Bad hair day!

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

Hot Pie Therapy

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Have you no common scents?!'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"I don't like your application."

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

A Manicure

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.