Cosmetic Industry Professional Gifts

Gentlemen, don't think of this as a corporate takeover, it's a corporate makeover.

'No, we don't do any animal testing, but don't rule out a pop quiz once in a while.'

Animal exploitation - cosmetics manufactured using animal byproducts.

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Bad fake tan day.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

Woman applying makeup

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

Blend Schools

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Your mascara is running."

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."