Cosmetic Industry Professional T-Shirts

Gentlemen, don't think of this as a corporate takeover, it's a corporate makeover.

'No, we don't do any animal testing, but don't rule out a pop quiz once in a while.'

Animal exploitation - cosmetics manufactured using animal byproducts.

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Bad fake tan day.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

Woman applying makeup

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

Blend Schools

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."