Cosmetics Industry Professional Gifts

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Woman applying makeup

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Blend Schools

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

They don't test products on lab animals at Earthstone Cosmetics.

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

'They could use a great camouflage expert like you in the army, Mom.'