Beauty Industry Professional Gifts

Magazines.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"More concealer?"

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Complete Makeover

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"I'm thinkin' blond."

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."