Beauty Industry Insider Gifts

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Have you got your make up on yet?

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

New Twenty Blades

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Botox...'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"More concealer?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

Mirror mirror...

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'