Beauty Industry Observer Gifts

Sneer-leading

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

Mirror mirror...

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'Botox...'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"More concealer?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.