Beauty Trend Observer Gifts

Botox secretary.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Inflating Boobs.

"That shirt is so last year."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Rating the Sunset

#notblessed

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.

"Remarkable, but I'd feel so much better about it if we knew what the hell we're doing right."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

'What a view! The motivational poster doesn't do it justice.'

Irony: Then and Now

'Bandwagon Marketing & Advertising... Specializing in political candidates.'

'I think the phrase 'jump the shark' has jumped the shark.'

"How many capsule wardrobes is this again?"

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

Pikey and Chav.

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

'On Wall Street, analysts predict a high around 86, cooling off later this evening to a low around 54.'

"Honey! Our 15 minutes of fame has been reduced to an unflattering gif on Twitter!"

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

"Gender reveal parties just aren't the same in black & white."

Garden Centre

2017 glass half full