Beauty Trend Follower Gifts

"If you've been considering breast augmentation for longer than five minutes, we'll get started. If not, please come back in six minutes."

Hare Extensions. (Rabbit has a fake set of ears attached to its own.)

Highlights

Inflating Boobs.

COWS: Wax lipped cow

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

Advocado

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"Like my new haircut?"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"What are you doing?"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"Port outbound, starboard home."