Beauty Trend Observer Pillows

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Inflating Boobs.

"That shirt is so last year."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Rating the Sunset

#notblessed

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

"Remarkable, but I'd feel so much better about it if we knew what the hell we're doing right."

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

'Bandwagon Marketing & Advertising... Specializing in political candidates.'

'What a view! The motivational poster doesn't do it justice.'

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

'I think the phrase 'jump the shark' has jumped the shark.'

"How many capsule wardrobes is this again?"

'On Wall Street, analysts predict a high around 86, cooling off later this evening to a low around 54.'

"Gender reveal parties just aren't the same in black & white."

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

"Honey! Our 15 minutes of fame has been reduced to an unflattering gif on Twitter!"

Pikey and Chav.

Garden Centre

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

For years Melenie stayed home waiting for the stirrup cords revival.

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."