Fashion Trend Watcher Pillows

Albert though of his slogan about the same time as the other one but his never caught on.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

Emergency Hipster Beard

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"Like my new haircut?"

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Giraffe Selfie

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

High Pants/Low Pants.

The Aging of Underwear

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

#notblessed