Fashion Trend Follower Pillows

'Our clothes are perfect. The customer is out of style.'

"Do you have anything without stripes?!"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Advocado

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Like my new haircut?"

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Inflating Boobs.

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Oh, just walking around hoping to be taken seriously.'

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

The Aging of Underwear

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."