Fashion Trend Follower Pillows

'Our clothes are perfect. The customer is out of style.'

"Do you have anything without stripes?!"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Advocado

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Inflating Boobs.

"Like my new haircut?"

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"That shirt is so last year."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Giraffe Selfie

"What are you doing?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'Oh, just walking around hoping to be taken seriously.'

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."