Cosmetic Salesperson Gifts

How to make girls feel uglier so they buy more beauty products.

'Do you have 'Allure'?'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Brick Salesman

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"Then he slammed the door on me!" "Not the closing you were hoping for."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Sales Secretary

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

"Anyone can dream the impossible dream. We need to sell the impossible dream."

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

'I found our eight year old sales goals, and we're almost there.'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'Guess how much I sold today?'

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"As you can see, it's pretty simple - just find the customer and make him buy."

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

"How about moving in a little closer?"

'The old one fell apart.'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

Sales Dept. is Out to Hunch

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"Delivery in thirty minutes or your pizza is free(zing)."

"We would like to promote you, but that is why we're keeping you right here."

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."