Beauty Product Salesperson Gifts

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Have you no common scents?!'

Some scents are nonsense.

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Pheromones.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

"You have a very rare conditioner."

"That shampoo was delicious!"

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

Magazines.

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"Honey, they just can't resist it."

'I'm not happy with my 'honey and lilac' shampoo.'

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

Nail Gun Manicure

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'