Cosmetic Salesperson Pillows

How to make girls feel uglier so they buy more beauty products.

'Do you have 'Allure'?'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Brick Salesman

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"Then he slammed the door on me!" "Not the closing you were hoping for."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"Anyone can dream the impossible dream. We need to sell the impossible dream."

Sales Secretary

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

'I found our eight year old sales goals, and we're almost there.'

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'Guess how much I sold today?'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"As you can see, it's pretty simple - just find the customer and make him buy."

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

"How about moving in a little closer?"

'The old one fell apart.'

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

"We would like to promote you, but that is why we're keeping you right here."

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

Sales Dept. is Out to Hunch

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

'If you don't mind, my sales manager wanted me to call him the second you took the hook.'