Cosmetic Sales Professional Pillows

"If I don't look old enough to have a fourteen year old daughter, why do I need your stuff?"

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Dog eat dog.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

What price beauty?

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

Woman applying makeup

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

"Botox."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

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