Cork-seeking Escapades Gifts

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

true love.

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Red Wine

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Wino Appreciation Group

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

"I had no idea Dom Perignon came with a screw top."

"This wine is CORKED!"

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

Wine-tasting Tour.

'Genuine Venutian Bistro.'

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

Shall I draw a cork for us?

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

"Daddy has to clear his head for a few minutes before he can deal with 'Babar'."

Martin Clunes

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

BOOZE & SNOOZE: 'It's a bed and breakfast with a liquor license.'