Cork Enthusiast Gifts

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Jurassic Pork

true love.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

Red Wine

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Wino Appreciation Group

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Pig Cheese

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

"This wine is CORKED!"

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

Wine-tasting Tour.

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

"Hog Hell"

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'