Cork Enthusiast Pillows

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Jurassic Pork

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

true love.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

Red Wine

Wino Appreciation Group

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'It's a spork!'

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Pig Cheese

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

"This wine is CORKED!"

Wine-tasting Tour.

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'