Cork Connoisseur Pillows

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

A nice Chianti?

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

I could have danced all night!

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Party Animals.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"I love this time of day."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

true love.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

Curling your hair for no reason

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."