Cork-popping Champion Gifts

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

true love.

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Red Wine

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Wino Appreciation Group

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"This wine is CORKED!"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

A little fizz?

Wine-tasting Tour.

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

Butler and his friend drinking in a cellar

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'