Cork Critic Gifts

"This one's rubbish as well."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'The coffee tastes of mud. Is that why you call it 'ground' coffee?'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"Practicing my hate-face."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

'This decaf's lousy.'

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

Honest Vending Machine

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'

"That was a boring field trip."

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

'If I'm to put up with cold coffee and stale biscuits I expect a Much better line in gossip!'

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

'Looks like there's been another crackdown on truth in advertising regulations.'

"I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth to mouth."

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Butler and his friend drinking in a cellar

"I keep thinking how much pleasanter New York would be without Ed, Donald, and George."

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

Ban Fake YouTube Ghost Videos

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

"I never use ice anymore since hearing about the endangered glaciers."