Cork Critic Pillows

"This one's rubbish as well."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'The coffee tastes of mud. Is that why you call it 'ground' coffee?'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"Practicing my hate-face."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

Honest Vending Machine

'This decaf's lousy.'

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'If I'm to put up with cold coffee and stale biscuits I expect a Much better line in gossip!'

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"That was a boring field trip."

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

'Looks like there's been another crackdown on truth in advertising regulations.'

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Butler and his friend drinking in a cellar

"I keep thinking how much pleasanter New York would be without Ed, Donald, and George."

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

"I never use ice anymore since hearing about the endangered glaciers."

"Tighten the bolts and slap some more boilerplate on this report, Mike. It's got candor leaking out in a dozen places!"