Cooking Metaphors Gifts

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'

"Nation-building never works."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"Carpe pizza"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

"A votre sante!"

'YAY! PATE!'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'So push has come to shove...'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Great Moments in Culinary History.

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

Metaphors.

Shepherd buying a shepherd's pie.

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

Beard helper