Cooking Puns Gifts

Cooked Books.

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Shuck me.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"A little lamb please."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

Octopi a la mode.

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Pickled beets.

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"Guac-A-Mole"

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

"And that makes 6! That should be enough to cater for the function tonight. . ."

Human Fingers: The Fish World's version of Fish Fingers.

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

What on earth are you doing? Well, you wanted battered sausage, didn't you?

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

Gastrique Bypass

"Blessed are the Greek, for they shall invent olive oil."

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"