Cooking Comedy Gifts

Chicken and noodles.

Egg cannibal using an egg timer to time egg in pot

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"I might just get a pie."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

Bake off: Flan B

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"A votre sante!"

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'Not now, you'll spoil your dinner.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

The Fault of the Fowl

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

'You made me jump,'