Convertible Crusader Gifts

'When I said 'topless' I meant the car.'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

Oil shock.

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

It's a Dog's life

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

'We lost funding.'

'I thought you encouraged self-expression!'

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

"Not again!"

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles