Convertible Crusader T-Shirts

'When I said 'topless' I meant the car.'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

Oil shock.

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

It's a Dog's life

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

'We lost funding.'

'I thought you encouraged self-expression!'

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

Employee Parking. The only way my boss practices "top-down" management is by driving a convertible.

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

"Not again!"

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'