Conversation Quirk Gifts

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'How are we spelling Dear?'

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"So Dennis, Daphne tells us you work for Delta Medical Research Laboraties."

What makes you think people don't respect you, jerk?

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

'How do you get to Bingling Bros. circus?'

"I know I keep coming back to your obsession with styrofoam peanuts, but there's a lot to unpack there."

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

Final Analysis.

'One of his spectacles is bigger than the other!'

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'My advice; forget the elephant in the room - focus on the Quad Demy.'

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

"You draw clip-art? What a coincidence - I write Muzak!"

The social isolation of the entomologist...

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

'Don't look now Muriel. But that Polyphemus guy has been giving you the eye all night.'

'Is he expecting you?'