Quirky Conversations Enthusiast Gifts

Lance, do you think I need a new hair style? Of course not, Gloria. That reminds me, I need to pick up some steel wool pads on the way home.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

The Frankenstein snowman.

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

Tasty.

'The meat of their order is coming up.'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'