Quirky Conversations Gifts

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

I brought a little ice breaker.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"I can't hear you but the banana can."

The Man Who Knew Way Too Much

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"What a career! She started out stealing silver thimbles and look at her now!"

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

'We can't go on meeting this way, Lloyd. . .my husband's getting suspicious.'

'I hope the bill I sent you last month didn't have anything to do with the increase in your fees."

'No no, I'm fine. Just indulging in a little bit of mid-afternoon navel gazing.'

'Glass of water?' - 'I said I'm thirsty not dirty.'

You show me yours and I'll show you mine.

"I'm worried, she seems to be an individualist: she does not seem to have a herd mentality..."

'I bought my peg - leg from a gypsy.'

I had a little fling recently, Lance

Laurel, would it be okay if I brought up a topic of conversation? Anything. I noticed some green stuff in your bathroom – I think it's mold. It happens. It's been weeks since you washed your dishes, and months for sheets and towels. And? There's a huge rodent on your head. It can eat the mold.

"I know I keep coming back to your obsession with styrofoam peanuts, but there's a lot to unpack there."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."