Awkward Conversations Gifts

Before birds and bees,

"I'm kind of a big deal at my mom's house."

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie entirely with my date? Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

Very Difficult Conversations

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

What price beauty?

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"I know I keep coming back to your obsession with styrofoam peanuts, but there's a lot to unpack there."

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

'Have you noticed it, too?'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

'En-counter'

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

Send. End.

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

'How can you possibly be busy washing your hair for the rest of your life???'

'I bought my peg - leg from a gypsy.'

"I can't hear you but the banana can."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'