Awkward Conversation Enthusiasts Gifts

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Facts of Life' - 'Gosh - I think I got Amy Sue in trouble.'

'I care about you - but like a brother.. a creepy lonely brother.'

Very Difficult Conversations

What price beauty?

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

'We've just learned to speak and now you're not talking to me?'

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

"I'm leaving you,Jerry-I need more from a man than just scintillating conversation."

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

Before birds and bees,

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

Send. End.

"Bob, when I said "let him sniff your hand first," I meant the dog."

Jack suffered from an overactive blabber

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

The Man Who Couldn't Say "When."

"The lesbian world welcomed me with open arms -- I can;t just leave."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

"It's not what you know, it's who you know." "Either way, I'm starting from scratch."

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

'How can you possibly be busy washing your hair for the rest of your life???'

"Have you talked to Baldo about girls lately?"

'Mom, did I come preassembled or did you and dad have to put me together?'

"I really am young at heart: I got a 34 year old's in a transplant."