Awkward Conversation Lover Gifts

'Hey! I don't know you do I? I never met you before!'

Ask me about my colonoscopy: 'Uh Oh.'

"Listen son, I think it's time you learned about the slaps and the tickles."

"Sorry I don't do #smalltalk."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Very Difficult Conversations

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

What price beauty?

Protest

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

Bar Therapy

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

The social isolation of the entomologist...

Before birds and bees,

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

'Let's go some place where we can walk.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

The Man Who Couldn't Say "When."