Awkward Conversation Lover Pillows

'Hey! I don't know you do I? I never met you before!'

Ask me about my colonoscopy: 'Uh Oh.'

"Listen son, I think it's time you learned about the slaps and the tickles."

"Sorry I don't do #smalltalk."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Very Difficult Conversations

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

What price beauty?

Protest

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

Bar Therapy

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about the screaming.

And what kind of banter do you want with that? I got light, witty, or wry. Breakfast.

The social isolation of the entomologist...

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

Before birds and bees,

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

'Let's go some place where we can walk.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

The Man Who Couldn't Say "When."