Quirky Conversation Lover Pillows

'I daren't take my hat off - If I do, the voices in my head might escape!'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

"Yes, crazy does sometimes beat sane... but rarely during a job interview."

"I'm leaving my ankles to science."

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

Fascinating. I didn't know tapeworms knew Morse code.

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

'is it floobish in here today, or is it just me?'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'I used to live in a gated community too...It was called, 'San Quentin'.'

'By the way, I usually sneeze in twos. So that's another interesting thing about me.'

'Well! Well! Talk of the Devil.....'

The social isolation of the entomologist...

"Turns out hands are like soup. The more you wash the smaller they get."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"I love you, you big fool."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'