Quirky Conversations Lover Gifts

Wow, that's really a thing of beauty! Have you ever thought about being a uvula model?

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"I love you, you big fool."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

You mixed your DNA with that of a carrot? I've created a giant loud-mouthed left-leaning vegetable. Some would say that's redundant. Very funny. It's worse that that. The carrot doesn't share just my politics … You smell beautiful, like ranch dressing on a spring day. I do like a tall vegetable.

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."