Control Group Humorist Gifts

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"I was just finishing up some spring cleaning."

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

At the McWit Eye Labs are two doors, 'Control Group' and 'Out of Control Group.'

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

Three-way mirror

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Can you do it so my eyes follow everyone around the boardroom?

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

"I'll get my people to arrange a meeting with your people, so they can talk about trying to get us to meet again."

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Mittens, and I'm addicted to catnip."

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"I want a large pepperoni, pronto! And don't be stingy with the cheese. No anchovies! If I find one anchovy, I'll have your head on a pole. . ."

"Unsticky notes test #17 success!"

To Do List: Invent Smaller Post-It Notes.

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

Maybe that's the point. You have to rip it into little pieces to get it in the box.

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

"Management is about delegation, so I'm delegating you to sack yourself."

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD